Guilt and Shame

Driving past a church recently they had posted "no guilt and shame here".

Sure, we get where that is coming from.  Later that week I heard a story from a preacher who said he had a friend who was an alcoholic.  That friend decided one morning, still drunk and smelling like it, to just give church a single try.  He said he sat in the back and felt so much condemnation and judgment that he will never go back into a church.

My favorite way of stopping people from doing something is to use guilt as well.

"HEY JERKS, STOP SHAMING PEOPLE, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR ACTING LIKE THAT"

In general I agree that shame and guilt are bad when they hang on to people like a shackled lead ball keeping them from living life.  But no shame a guilt is insanity.

If I kill somebody, chop them up and keep them in my freezer and feel no guilt all of society agrees I'm insane.

If I go home and slap my kid because I'm annoyed, nobody is judging me when they say I'm a bad person. I am a bad person and should be ashamed of who I am.

Where shame is bad is when somebody abused you and that shame is shackled to you holding you back from your own life.

Where guilt is bad is if you are found guilty of a crime, you pay your fines and do your time but afterward you choose a life of crime because, hey, once a criminal always a criminal.

Taking medicine is good when you are sick.  Taking medicine when you are not sick is addiction.