When a really bad piece of technology comes out it hits the market, gets panned as terrible, and then disappears. When bad science is pushed, the universe doesn't respond. However, when bad ideas are accepted they create belief systems that can damage us simply by existing.
Somebody I know has a four year degree. They have had a job since the day they finished college. They have had a really good paying job since they were married. They had one bad year out of fifteen, and by bad they were within $10k of the average annual salary in the US. They believe they are not rich. Furthermore, they believe they have struggled with being poor.
Belief systems are dangerous because when we believe something we stop looking to see if it is true or not. We also tend to agree that beliefs are both personal and factual. I am allowed to believe I have struggled with poverty because I am free to believe whatever I want to believe. I also would not believe anything unless it was true (read factual).
Our underlying belief systems, or invisible scripts, dictate how we interact with the world.
I can say I'm not a racist and believe I'm not a racist but when I'm in a gas station at 2am and a large african american man walks in my body shows me what I believe.
Beliefs are easy to have in your mind but amazingly difficult to have in your heart.
I can believe that pre-marital sex is wrong, but I've been dating my wife since I was a teenager and having sex with her inside the confines of marriage since my very early 20's. There is really no way of knowing what the belief in my heart is because I don't have to prove it.
Often times we espouse beliefs because we know we don't have to prove it or there is no way of proving it.
As a side note on how beliefs can physically affect our lives, college football makes all of it's money in exactly the same way that large financial companies make much of their money. They take the sweat and blood of young men who think they are the exception and burn it as fuel. Every young financial advisor thinks he is the next Warren Buffett just as much as every young football player thinks he is the next Jerry Rice.
Young men are not getting abused by a system, their invisible scripts that they are special are getting abused by a system. The same belief system can be seen in sports where there is no chance of making money. I ran track in college believing I was the next Edwin Moses fully knowing that even Edwin didn't make that much money.
Our invisible scripts can deeply affect our visible lives. It does not matter if you know what those beliefs are or don't know what those beliefs are, they are a part of you and an influencer daily. This is why difficult situations and bad times are so valuable, because only in experience can we see where our heart lies.
We should relish every part of our lives, particularly the hard parts, and come away from every experience with one of two things:
1) Was the invisible script that just became visible something I want to keep?
2) Is there a new script I want to write for next time?
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
strengths finder 3.0
I can't remember the last time I heard anybody say "There are some things you are not allowed to do" besides when I wear white jeans in February. I've never actually worn white jeans. I wonder if I've ever told myself it was just something I wasn't allowed to do, apparently I have.
I hate hearing what I have to do.
Kelsey thinks it's being a middle child. She hates it to.
I understand I can't do some things, like wear white jeans, but when I have to do something it is so much worse.
I've been lifting and trying to put on a little muscle. The voice in my head goes nuts when I tell myself I have to eat more protein. Nobody can tell me what to do, not even myself. So I'm typing this with tiny arms and tired hands.
I've always thought I had a difficult time with follow through or habits or whatever words self help gurus fancy. What I truly struggle with is waking up and knowing I have to do something.
Seth Godin once wrote about people who wished they could redo yesterday. He then poignantly states that most of us know exactly what tomorrow is going to look like. He then asks the question, if you could do tomorrow all over again what would you do?
So I know that most of my life is already predetermined actions, and yet I fight with the have to.
I had an old boss call me lazy. I had started with a team of ten and was the seventh person to quit, right after I quite another guy left. Even on a curve 20% is a failing grade. So did he call me lazy because he needed to reassure himself that the enterprise he was a part of was not broken but rather 80% of the people he chose were broken?
Maybe.
But more likely he told me I was lazy because I would do anything I had to do to make that job work except follow the "rules" they had set up in the 1950's for success. He loved those rules.
I once worked at a job where we had 13 internal meetings each and every week. The problem wasn't the meetings, it was that I had to go to them. I'm actually great in meetings, I'm witty and there isn't any actual work to do as long as you are meeting.
Sometimes we feel a certain way because it is the correct way to feel. Following marketing rules from a time before the internet existed is stupid. Spending one out of every three working hours each week in a meeting is stupid. Not eating chicken because it is what you have to do to gain muscle is sabotage.
There are some things we are good at. I'm good at finding things that don't need to be done.
The challenge is being self aware of how we use our strengths to overpower our intelligence or to reinforce resistance to what we really should be doing.
I hate hearing what I have to do.
Kelsey thinks it's being a middle child. She hates it to.
I understand I can't do some things, like wear white jeans, but when I have to do something it is so much worse.
I've been lifting and trying to put on a little muscle. The voice in my head goes nuts when I tell myself I have to eat more protein. Nobody can tell me what to do, not even myself. So I'm typing this with tiny arms and tired hands.
I've always thought I had a difficult time with follow through or habits or whatever words self help gurus fancy. What I truly struggle with is waking up and knowing I have to do something.
Seth Godin once wrote about people who wished they could redo yesterday. He then poignantly states that most of us know exactly what tomorrow is going to look like. He then asks the question, if you could do tomorrow all over again what would you do?
So I know that most of my life is already predetermined actions, and yet I fight with the have to.
I had an old boss call me lazy. I had started with a team of ten and was the seventh person to quit, right after I quite another guy left. Even on a curve 20% is a failing grade. So did he call me lazy because he needed to reassure himself that the enterprise he was a part of was not broken but rather 80% of the people he chose were broken?
Maybe.
But more likely he told me I was lazy because I would do anything I had to do to make that job work except follow the "rules" they had set up in the 1950's for success. He loved those rules.
I once worked at a job where we had 13 internal meetings each and every week. The problem wasn't the meetings, it was that I had to go to them. I'm actually great in meetings, I'm witty and there isn't any actual work to do as long as you are meeting.
Sometimes we feel a certain way because it is the correct way to feel. Following marketing rules from a time before the internet existed is stupid. Spending one out of every three working hours each week in a meeting is stupid. Not eating chicken because it is what you have to do to gain muscle is sabotage.
There are some things we are good at. I'm good at finding things that don't need to be done.
The challenge is being self aware of how we use our strengths to overpower our intelligence or to reinforce resistance to what we really should be doing.
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