Gravity and Choosing

It won a bunch of Oscars years ago, so I decided to keep on the cutting edge of culture and watched the film Gravity two years after it came out.

I may have more thoughts on this later but my major thoughts are tied around doing.  The beautiful idea that we so often live our lives right on the outskirts of all of humanity and yet totally alone.  Nobody can hear us, see us or help us but we are most certainly here.  It hurts exist sometimes, it's hard and we all just want to go to sleep, and on the outskirts of humanity it is so easy to just drift off.

Sandra is both born is space and baptized on her re-entry to earth.  The process is painful and difficult and many times we just want to drift off but we have to choose.  Choose to live life.  Choose to fight and survive and get up.

I've spent year after year getting rid of things.  I got rid of a gripping addiction, I got rid of so much guilt and pain, I got rid of many of my earthly desires surrounding success, I got rid of my debt, I got rid of my business's, and I got rid of most of my earthly possessions.

But at some point you have to choose life.  Not just to fill it up with shit, not just to pile on work for work sake or drive for prides sake.  No, you have to choose something after the emptying, then you have to fight like hell to do that thing.  And in the process you will go through so much pain, lose things you don't think you can live without and keep driving forward.  Just keep driving.  You are Abraham in the desert, going to a place you will know only when you get there.  Keep going.

I took a couple of weeks off and stopped going.  Nothing more dramatic then I just stopped caring, starting drinking and sleeping, stopped looking my family in the eyes.  When you turn off the oxygen and drift off to sleep you fade really, really fast.  Don't do it.  Burn up in the atmosphere.  Freeze to death in space.  But for God's sake, do not turn off the oxygen and fade away.

I don't know if I'm back yet, if the oxygen has saturated my brain yet, but I know for one thing that I want to live.

Good luck wherever you are on the journey, thanks for reading this post.