Giving my try

I said "I'm listening" and God told me to sit down on the floor, on a pillow, with a glass of water. I need money and I wanted to sit in front of the computer and formulate a plan on where to get that money.

But instead I found myself sitting on the floor.

God started talking and I started talking right back and I couldn't make out anything being said, so I asked both sides to stop and asked for forgiveness and really started to get into how sorry I was. God told me that was enough and to take a drink of water. I stopped and drank.

I am the living the water.

He told me that just because you would never thirst again does not mean that you would never drink again. Rather, just like the eight cups of water I've been trying to drink a day we must continuously drink in the living water.

He told me to take another drink. I told him I was listening.

He showed me my two year old who when she doesn't want to eat her dinner, and she is called out on it, frantically grabs her drink and say's she can't eat because she is drinking. God told me I need to stop drinking milk sometimes and move to the solid food. That drinking his water can be good, but we must put down the cup and take action.

He told me to take another drink. I told him I was listening.

He didn't tell me anything, so I argued back and yelled "Hey, I took and drink and said I was listening!" He told me he had told me enough.

I took another drink for me.

I said, that's not enough, I will not let you go until you bless me. How am I supposed to accomplish continuous drinking of your living water and taking action when I am a wretched failure. The reason I need a cure all right now is because I know I cannot follow through and so even if there is a perfect solution that takes a year to implement it is, for me, impossible.

He then told me the solution.

Failure.

He told me that failing was the only way. Continuous failing. That my commitment was not to succeed but to try. My commitment was not to reap but to plant. My commitment was not to have a life overflowing but to give my tenth. The simple quiet act of giving my tenth, it is giving my try and asking in return for his all.