I work for a monster of a company, a fortune 500 behemoth that acts in kind. It is slow, often ugly and rarely does anything intelligent. Turnover is far to high, what is agreed upon as achievement is completely changed every six to twelve months. It is a classic "big box" as I like to call it.
I thoroughly enjoy succeeding at my job. When I hit my numbers, even numbers that are changing regularly, I feel accomplished. I show up early to try and keep things orderly, I'm not totally sure but I think I care. And yet, more days than not, it feels as if the company is actually against my success. That the way we operate encourages me to do less, not more.
The more success I have the more dysfunction and pain I invite into my life.
It is so easy to sit with a co-worker and rip the company apart, because it is obvious and true.
However, it does make me think of one of my favorite jokes.
Two men are walking down the street, a beggar stops them and asks for money. One of the men hands him a dollar and they continue walking. The other man turns to his friend and says "Why did you do that? He is just going to spend it on boos!". The first man responds "That's all I was going to spend it on too."
I feel like the conversations in my head go almost exactly the same. I think about how the company is always changing direction and anytime I try to do anything they are fighting me. That's exactly what I do in my personal life. This quarter I'm going to write a novel, a hundred pages later I have a third of a novel and decide it's time to start juicing. Then I mix a really stiff drink of organic apple and carrot juice with vodka and the rest is blurry history.
I sabotage myself, I have a free day and I sit around watching television wasting my time just like my company sabotages my time by making me sit on hold for two and a half hours to answer a question (true story).
I think it is easy, too easy, to blame a job for treating us the same exact way we treat ourselves.
As Bill Cosby put it, I always thought I worked my employees too hard until I found out what they did to themselves over the weekend.